Thursday, July 29, 2010

The Stranger

Sky adorned by glittering stars and surrounded by mouth watering fragrance we simply kept on looking at each other devoid of any talks. I held her hand and never felt like leaving them. She leaned on my shoulders and said she felt heaven like bed to rest upon forever. I felt like kissing her and went near her. A horrifying sound shattered my dream as I was lying on my room dreaming about my girl friend.It was my dirty ringtone.

The moment I picked the call I was taken aback. I dint notice who had called and picked . I heard a voice which was gasping for breath. The call was from girl who make my dream eveyrday. She could not speak a word properly. It seemed as if she was running from something. "Honey what happened? Where are you? Whats going on?". She tried to reply but nothing came out from her gasping mouth. So she cut the call. I dint know what to do. I could hear noise of vehicles and she was in her room half an hour back when I had called. We stay in the same premises. So I took a run towards the parking lot.

The place was deserted as no one was entering in then. I was looking around for her and tried calling her back. I saw some movement behind a car. As I went closer a green eyed dog pounced on me. I got afraid seeing it and started running . Suddenly from nowhere she bumped into me. Her hands and mouth were tied. A car left the lot at the same time. Before I could have a look at at who was driving it disappeared into the dark. I was collapsed seeing her in such a state. I carried her to my place and gave water to drink before asking anything.

She started crying and hugged me tightly. She said she was speaking over phone near the parking lot, suddenly a hand touched her and tore her dress from behind. As she took a run she gave me a call. The guy behind pounced and attacked her down. His face was covered and as soon as he saw me he dropped her and ran away. I was startled to hear this. She was crying continuously. I went near her to console. She dint let me near her as it was torn and said she wants to die if she can for sitting in such a position. I din't know what to tell her.I held her hand and spoke for a while after which she felt better. After a while I took her to her place and made her lie down.

Things happened so quickly from me waking up from a sweet dream to ending up consoling her from the tragedy which happened. I called her up and spoke for a while to ensure she is fine . We were speaking till her cell phone battery got drained . Overwhelmed with thoughts on who could have done this to her it went on to become a sleepless night. Finally i caught some sleep when the night was about to get over. Before I could turn it into a deep sleep someone rang the door bell continuously. I was pissed off at the motive of the one who rung the bell and went out to scream at the one who was doing it.Before I could get out of the previous night's amity ville horror came the next shock. It was none other than my girl. The moment I opened the door she ran in totally frightened and sat down at the corner of the room. Her beautiful face was so pale as if someone slapped her and she was shivering . I could not understand what was going on.

I tried her to hold her up and make her sit on a chair but she did not want to go anywhere.So I just sat near her and gave her sometime to cool down. All of a sudden my normal life was becoming a serious thriller with no clue of who was doing all this. After a while I asked her what had happened. She started crying as I asked and told someone had called her ten minutes back and threatened to kidnap her today. The caller also told he was the one who tried to kidnap her yesterday. I asked for her cell phone which she left at her place as she was running in to see me. I told her to call her friend and ask the details of the caller. She said she remembers the details. The caller's number was displayed as private number and it was a male who had called. He used all sorts of cheap words to her over phone hearing which I lost all my temper. Hearing these details a suspect's identity struck me and asked her "Do you suspect that guy who troubled you in office and was fired for his misbehavior recently ?" She was not sure about his voice but said it had a slight resemblance. I dint want to ask her more on it and made her sleep for while on my lap.

It was a sunday morning, so I called up my married sister who knows my girl friend and asked her to come to my place with her husband and made them stay there as I wanted to check out on that guy. I called two of my friends and we proceeded to his place. We were watching from a distance if he was at his home. He came out with his wife and kids and they were leaving for some trip. I was shocked to know he is already married and was sent off on a behavioral basis. So with a gut feeling he would not be the one I left back home. Two hours got wasted in this and I got a horrible feeling as I could not find out anything since morning. I thought I could atleast stay with her which will make her feel better than doing all this.

I called her roommate and asked her to get the mobile to the gate entrance. Her friend came down and gave the mobile. She asked me what happened as she was not aware of all these. She said she woke up when I called her. I told her everything and went home with her. My girl called for me as soon as I entered and asked if she can sleep on my lap again. "With pleasure honey" I said. She felt very relaxed with me. My sister and others gave some privacy for us.

I was lookin at her frightened face again. She was lying like a little kid who sought shelter on the lap of her mom after being tortured by some rascal. I really wanted to find and avenge the one responsible for this . So pulled out the cell phone to check the details of the caller. There was no battery charge. I wondered if she put her phone on charge after she spoke to me. I looked down and was taken aback on what I saw. She was wearing the same dress which she said was torn yesterday. I could not see any tear on it. I put the cell phone on charge. The most recent caller was none other than me. I was shocked to see what she was going through and for a moment felt dizzy at what I saw.

I went out to ask her friend if she has a problem. I could not control my tears as I went out and spoke to them. Everyone including her friend was shocked to hear this. I could not think anything more than helping my sweetheart out of this devastating problem she is facing within her. I was clueless and wanted help from some one on whom to consult for this. Meanwhile a eye lid opens and its inner soul speaks looking at me "this is just the beginning of what your life will be with me. More to come."

Friday, May 21, 2010

Vignyapan patra ... An experience to rethink ...

Never I thot I would define a statement of this sort. I dint have a clue or near to it practically on what a Government office really is but got an opportunity somehow.The reason I had to go was to get an affidavit. To be frank enough I dint know its synonym until I had to get one. But now I could add it to my dictionary with all possible translations.

Like most indivduals I had the thoughts of getting it using the generic modus operandi bribe. I tried all possible means not to approach the Government directly. Fate came in the form of my close friend. He woke me up and urged to go there and get things done myself. I left his wake up call to snooze and got back to my dream date with some unknown mexican actress. I dont know where she came from but I could see Mexico written in the background. She was beautiful though. The wake up calls went louder because of which I had to turn down the dream and get ready to do the job myself. I would like to hail that guy who laid the day for me.

I reached there by 10 AM. It was scorching hot already. I saw some guys wearing black suits standing outside and selling something. The costume was like that of a train TTEs but I could not correlate their job out here leaving the trains. Without thinking more on that I proceeded straight to the place where a guy pointed is the one for getting affidavits. He said the office timings start from 10AM. The entrance had a grill door locked and people waiting to plunge in as soon as it opens. It reminded me of my age old days entering a cinema hall before the multiplex life style came in.

At about 10:30 a guy came and opened the grill. A kid about 4feet height pushed me down and ran inside. I dint have a clue why these guys were running inside. When I was lost in that thought I was the only one left outside. When I entered inside people went and stood in queues. There were ten counters. Something was written in Marathi in all the counters. I was clueless where to go and asked a guy there. Fate played its first stroke his reply was in Marathi too.

I dint have a clue how it would feel to be in a place where you dont have a clue of the language . I searched if I could find someone who was lost like I was. At the fifth tick of my eye clock I located a fellow companion who was lost too. Luckily I found a board stating "English Affidavit" as I approached near him. The crowd which pushded me down stood in the Marathi queue. I thought in one way not knowing the language has helped me.

As I approached near the counter I noticed everyone holding some paper with a 100 on it. I had something similar to it but dint really know what it was for. Somehoe came to know from the crowd its called a stamp paper. Mind rewinded half an hour back. The black suit fellows were lawyers who did not have clients to attend to and were selling these stamp papers outside. A 100 Rs stamp paper would be sold for a 110. A lawyer had come with his mom as he could not handle the crows single handedly. A 5 Rs stamp was sold for 10. Mind went on calculating. There would be atleast 100 of them like me everyday. Leaving out the bribe he had to pay this guy would earn something equal to the one who sweats out the whole year coding including the weekends.

Finally got the paper and went back to report the details for the affidavit. Thankfully it was not a Marathi questionairre this time. The person sitting at the counter knew Hindi. So somehow managed with my "ek gaon mein ek kisan rahta tha" Hindi and told the details. You could see optimal usage of paper there. All the guys sitting at the counter would have a newspaper. Once they type out your details they tear a peiece from the newspaper and write down some number on it like a token number when you visit a doctor. The purpose of the day was so far so good though with some language barrier. The shock came to me when I went to receive the print out.

A guy handed over the print out to me and asked me to verify the details in it before putting it out on a stamp paper. It was looking like Hindi but I could not understand a word. The whole thing was printed in Marati and I had to verify the details. The board English affidavits was for poor guys like me to know what the queue was for. I thought to myself what to check from it. Just verified my name and address from it as the script was same like Hindi. Apart from that I dint have a clue of what each line meant. So the need of a translator came to me for the first time unfortunately at a place where I could not find one. I was searching for my only companion. He probably would have ran away to get back with some friend who knows Marathi.

So with some hope the details would be right I went to get the signature from the higher authority thinking atleast that guy should be knowing some English. I even thought I could get it clarified from him. A girl was standing in front of me. The guy dint even ask for any proof. His mouth was watering and he was acting like a cool dude and asked her where she was from. The girl did not have any proofs and was standing tensed with her boy friend. But the romantic officer did not even ask for one and signed out her paper. He kept on talking somethin irrelevant to her. In between took out his comb and styled his half bald head. The drama took five more minutes to reach its end.

Then came my turn. He was still looking at her and was not ready to do his job. I distrubed his romantic session. He would be in his fifties and sighting a 20 year old. I could not control my laughter. He gave a stern look at me the moment I disturbed him.

He pointed out something to me on the paper. It was a place to sign. I thought he should be doing it and told him back "aap sign karna hai". He showed off some face and was screaming something in Marathi. I just went off to sign. He was giving reactions as if he rules the World. I had to get my work done so went back to him patiently. He asked for some proof. I showed them. He turned to his side and spoke something I could not understand to his colleague. He took the papers from me and asked me to come to the next queue. By the time I went he kept the original proof with himself and gave back the signed affidavit alone.

"Wo original documents hai. Main xerox leke ayenge" I said. I have never heard a reply like what I heard then. He showed his stern faceagain and said "what did you do when I asked if I can keep the originals. Once these papers come to us it won't be returned back. If you don't understand the language get out of the state. Don't irritate us early in the morning". All this was said in Hindi which somehow I could understand. I just was taken aback for a moment and pounced at him "I already told you I got a language problem. Dont you even know English to sit in such position. The queue was stated for English affidavits and print it in Marathi. What am I to verify from it.If you want me to learn your language come out right now and teach me. I am not as free as you though with life." The argument went on for a while. I thought for a moment probably its the same everywhere just that I had it at this place. It was not a single handed change to make. I was affecting other's time by the argument as there was none for a support then. So just thought " Hail Government offices and the guy who woke me up for the brow raising experience " and walked out.

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

My 23 yrs 25 days 11:01 hours wid HER

Whos she? What has she got to do with me and why do I have to count till the millisecond th of time I spent with her? Well this write up is about the princess of Padmanabapuram near Nagercoil,TamilNadu with whom I happened to spend all my time. Lucky me to have had the time of my life spent so.

I feel like telling the world what kind of life I have lived. I dont know who held me when I was born but I would be the happiest to know if she did first. When clock strikes 4 in the morning I dont know how many have seen it. Thats when the day starts for her. A typical South Indian Brahmin 5 feet tall,a four layered specs clad in her "Madisar" (name of attire) would be the first sight for me every morning. Let me delve more on that attire. The length of the saree is so much that five families can launch tents and live comfortably. Besides the length of the saree one feels like a roller coaster ride seeing the number of twists and turns it takes to wear it. No homework or lab assignments or issues to be fixed by EOD but she makes it a point to wake up at 4 and prepare coffee for the others.

By the time I wake up the coffee would have completed half day from its time of preparation. She wont mind to heat it up again and hang around till I finish brushing my teeth and hand it over to me personally. Her brisk life doesn stop there. She helps out to prepare the day's meal before retiring. She and her huby look after the home when all are gone for the day. Disaster strikes seven years hence when her huby fails to stay anymore. Everything in the room was sad and full of tears. A small boy aged seven came running in, opened a freezer box and laid 'vibhoodhi' (sacred ash) on her huby's forehead and ran out of the room quickly whispering "Dont Worry. I am there and will take care of you" to her.


I really dont know if I took care of her after that. All I know is I spent all my time after school with her. When everyone was gone she had to stay all alone at home. The fearless and bold woman in her gave her all the strength to spend at least 8 hours all alone without much worries. Watching TV and smashing the maid for her mistakes was her only time pass. The manager in her came out when she showed her mastery at getting work done properly from the maid. She made sure all the vessels were clean, house was swept properly and all the clothes especially the longest one in the universe were washed properly. The poor maid had to dry it out on her own. It requires atleast two people to do the job but thats how solutions with limited resource is achieved. She brought out all the managerial skills in her and took care of all the payments from cable,gas etc.

The drama actress in her comes out when she watches TV. She goes so much deep into the serials that she feels hit if a character is hit on screen and starts screaming for it. Whenever there was an exam for me I come back home by noon. The TV volume can be heard anywhere down the street. I have no other choice than to sit with her and watch the parallel dramas. A villain comes and chases the heroine. He would get cursed so much before the hero comes in and saves me from hearing it anymore.

I would go for a snacks session before lunch as she was busy with the serials. By the time I get hold of the chips packet a hand grabs. For a moment I thought she would ask me to put it off as I wont have lunch properly. It would be the other way. She fights with me for her lion's share. I would go in for a lil video game session before preparing for the next exam. She would be chanting calling me for lunch and gets exhausted. Finally she goes in takes the meal in hand and runs around me feeding. By the time it strikes six she would start searching for her son and would be really worried if it crosses eight. She would be asking for him every 2 minutes. The first sight of him gives her all the relief on earth. I challenged my mom be like her. My mom would kill me if she sees this but she herself would agree to it.

I was fourteen by then and had so much craze on cricket and got a cricket kit. I had to search for a company to play when my friends prepare for the next day exam. I had no other choice than calling her. Since she is not used to playing cricket I tied the leg pads, gloves for her myself and finally put up the helmet on her. The writing pad used to write the school assignments would be our stump. It was an under arms game with a tennis ball. The gloves and helmet were just to give an additional effect. Can you imagine a game of this kind played? Whenever she fails to give company I use the house wall for company. She would be screaming all the time at me for washing out the wall paints hit by the ball and breaking tube lights and lamps. She would be ready to lodge a complaint on what I broke that day to the concerned person. Once I finish off the punishment formalities it would be quarrel time with her.

The holidays creep in soon after the exams and my house would be completely filled with my gang. She hates the noise we create disturbing her peaceful day's sleep. There was one peculiar aspect where I used to have a quarrel with her every day. She fills water bottles and keeps in the fridge. The water bottles are meant to be for the family members was her principle. The so called gang got to move stealthily and steal a water bottle out of her sight and drink. But none of them succeed from the bull's eye. But the guys had the trick of pacifying her in different ways. Her main worries on any day would be some one needs to take the milk from milk cover everyday on time, the idly flour needs to be prepared and placed on fridge. There are shops doing it. She wouldn't be satisfied if the flour vessel doesn reach home on time. My guys took advantage of these aspects and pacified her every time they get caught.

I had to be away from her for a while as I left for studies. What was inherent in her came out just then. I got blessings from her and dint expect the next thing which happened. She came out to me and kissed on my cheeks blessing me. I dont remember if someone ever kissed me before. I gave a hug and that was the first time I was away from her. Semester vacations pop in. The moment I step into the house the first thing would be to go to her and get that kiss on my cheek from her before talking to anyone else. When I leave back she would somehow have to give me something when I get a blessing from her. She walks up to her almira and keeps something special in hand waiting for me. She developed a craze for limca during this time. She infact had a feeling anything can be cured by a drop of limca. If some one refuses to get one for her his head is torn out. I make sure to get one everytime I step into her room. I used to advice her its not good for health but she feels the joy in it. So I din't stop her anymore.

What started as a small gap between us went on for years and I could meet her once in four or five months duration and ended up more of talks over phone. As time passed by she could not hear properly. Time has passed too much now.

I got a call two days back when she breathed her last. I dint know what to react. Everyone were around her except me at that time. What have I lost now? A treasure or my second mom or my first girl friend or a legend or my best teacher or the bold woman or my all time companion or the most caring soul on earth for me or what not? I have lost everything together at one sight. I dont know how to treasure the times with her. I would like to have a kiss from her this second. I miss all the love and care she had. I miss all that superficially but nothing can shake a bit of what she has put in me during these 23 years. I love her so much and she knows it too ... Its time for a walk with her reading her life ...

Monday, February 15, 2010

Chapter 2 When Harry Met Sally

15 th Aug 3AM . Alarm rings so loud like a factory siren. I woke up choking a bit and then realised the pubby flight was all a wierd dream. The bulky baggages were lying next to me getting ready for their travel. The guess is right , I am being sent onsite for a year to Germany . The tequilla shots which went in the previous night did the trick. I dont know who carried me home and when I packed my stuff. Well thats now a dream too if some one had done it for me. Mom woke up a hour earlier because of which I could have the delicious Idly Sambar prepared by her . Mom stared at me telling why dont you have the idly with beer your honour ? I felt wierd looking back at her. Since I was leaving Mom dint make it big but gave that ugly stare at me. Dad coolly said budweiser is your favourite right?Lucky fellow you are going to the world of budwieser itself now. I never got such an opportunity earlier and will never get too. So enjoy yourself and just drink the Buds and dont take bath with it. Its Dads turn now to get the stare from Mom . I laughed inside thinking poor guy he himself took the ball from me and put a wrong goal to Mom. I picked up the baggages to board into the call taxi until which Mom dint talk. But now tears started trickling down. I stopped her telling Mom please continue this scene at the airport. She laughed back and I happily escaped before things went wilder . This being the first time I am going out of home all alone I was a lil frightened but acted like a cool dude before Mom and Dad . I expected a call from my girl friend before leaving but unfortunately I dont have one though I am too smart as called by my fellow gang. The scene where Mom getting emotional and dad consoling her got over and I proceeded for the security check . The security guy frightened me . I have never seen such a huge moustache. He was checking me so thoroughly as if he would strip me in front of everyone. I thought to myself when you guys do this to the Americans why won't they do it back ? He reminded me of the bouncers in the dream and I proceeded to board with a slight shiver. To my surprise the dream was a complete wash out because I was royally received by the air hostess . Shit man I missed the phuck shup said the cool dude in me and a upset soul inside me hitting against the wall for the show off.

I have come a long way but never told any one who am I. Since revealing my identity is not the part of this story I will reveal it myself. Well I am one of those million software engineers seamless of nice beautiful dreams and living in artificial destinations like the one I had last night. As I already told I dont have girl friend yet but I have a childhood gang who are always here to occupy my evenings and take me for treats telling they would give me ideas for picking up a girl . Never has anything valuable come out during those treats other than pukes. The best thing they have done so far would be getting me caught drunk at home where I had a good guy image so long. Thats their greatness and one more interesting thing about me is I am always complained of being absent minded starting from forgetting to carry hall ticket for my board exam to unknowingly enter opposites' rest room . Well thats all the back voice of me got before I found my seat. There you go I forgot my hand baggage near the security check in and happily boarded. So went back to get it. After all the struggle settled myself and relaxed a bit. Before I could relax myself completely I saw someone entering . I could just guess it was a female dressed in pink and the airhostess pointed to the same row I sit . I prayed God to get me more wierd dreams as the reality showed the other side of it. I have'nt even seen how she looks but started bumping with joy already. Having got the grammy award for the best bathroom singer I started singing in the usual murmering tone "Every night in my dreams....". The guy inside me gave back a stare telling even if she sits there you will behave Mother Teresa's child to her. So silly fellow stop your idiotic singing and do something fruitful atleast now and dont be a loser. I have run a full length imagination within the fraction of seconds during which the hostess just pointed her finger to the seat next to me. I dont even know if she has come alone or if she has a companion to occupy the damn middle seat between us. I squeezed my thoughts to get a dream where she comes in with her boy friend. Something banged my head hard telling stupid fellow dont follow negative strategy here . Omg she is returning back to the door without even giving me a glimpse of how she looks. I pacified myself telling love stories start with such hide and seek and ends up with either the entertainment of business or business of entertainment. I have seen stories where love starts from the first sight . I moved a step forward now without even seeing my lady love. Its too long a wait for the soul inside me so never mind however she looks.

She probably forgot her hand baggage so rushed out in the same speed she entered. What a coincidence. She has probably got the same I do. Well I only meant absent mindedness . What next. I went into the dream land to see the future me and her with her face blank since I have not seen her yet. We are married and blessed with twin kids but forget to take the kids home from hospital. The kids grow up absent minded too and search for us without knowing who they are searching for. Meanwhile since birth we are in search of the kids too without knowing how they look. The absent minded search goes on and my dream ends. What an idiotic dream to start my life with her but I strongly felt this would also be like the earlier dream and waited for her re entry. I got some time to freshen myself up before she comes back . Thank god my make up kit was at the top of my hand baggage. I pulled out the deo and facial freshners and got ready to be recognised. The silly soul inside me was laughing at me whispering you dont even have a clue how she will be. Losers will never change . I said to myself shut your pessemistic attitude up and get ready for the game to start.

Meanwhile someone entered from the back and sat next to me. Before having a glance at the new entrant my absent minded brain struck its cord at the right time helping me realize my lady love has come alone . Well but there is a intruder parting us. Turning to my right I had a look at my sidie. He was a six foot tall handsome looking guy with a spiked hair style and nearly my age. By the way I am 25 years old and I look very ordinary in front of him even with all the make up . Shit man I have got a very strong competitor to defend even before I could score a single . Mind raced planning how to tackle the defender to reach the goal post. Scribbling lots of crappy thoughts I could not get a solution for this burning issue. Even water problems for a state could be solved when compared to these . I gave him a stare while he settled down and pulling out his ipod the very next second. I had no pods or pads to pull out , God I should do something now and get the attention diverted to me against him. I need to do somethin and make him come to my seat first. Mind raced with thoughts and quickly a cool idea struck me.

I greeted him and behaved a nice gentle man before pulling out my plan to get him out of the game. I am Raj and you? Hello I am Charlie. Nice to meet you Charlie. And then pinned up the usual questions of where is he from and all the crap for which I least intended to know the answers. Now is the move to bowl him. Dude I have a small request. Ya tell me man. Do you mind shifting to my window seat? I am alergic to glass panes and height.When I said this I gave a panicked look on my face .The very expression could even grab an oscar and why not this silly fellow. As expected I won the game when he replied no problem and shifted to mine. My nice lil plan worked out very well. I called up the air hostess and ordered a drink. Wantedly to tease the fool who believed my alergy drama I held the glass high and saw his reaction for it . The war has begun . He understood I moved with some intentions but dint ask me for his seat as he was happy with a window seat. I was looking out for anythin in pink to enter . A small kid teased me showing a candy. I gave an angry stare back at him . He started crying seeing me. I bent down avoiding scoldings from his parents. Heart beats 100 times per minute. Shit its a paronormal activity inside me. Where did this stupid girl go??? There entered the pink dressed woman who was going to increase my beats more with all smiles. I was dumb struck seeing her. Wat a woman she was. I was looking at her as if I was the judge for her fashion ramp walk. I couldnt even waste time blinking my eyes as it would cost me a life time. Mouth watered hands got wet what not there was a total chemical reaction in my body converting me from a live goat to mutton but I dint miss checking out my chicken though. I thanked God for putting up the best show possible giving me such a great opportunity. I was supposed to use this 12 hours journey as best as I could and relieve the saint in me who hit a silver jubilee without a girl . Mind raced what do I talk to her first and how to proceed from there. I confirmed if the winodw seat loser was looking at her. He showed off as if he was busy selecting his play list to me but he was having a watch on why I shifted to his place. She is just two steps away from me now. There was a vast earth quake at this moment but it was not a natural disaster for the world it was for me. My body was trembling to that extent as it was the first time for me with a girl. People tend to get this for other first times but I got this to have the first word with her. I planned to ask her if she needs help keeping her bag and start the talk. She came I was about to talk but nothing came out but just a whiff of air. Shit dont be a spoil sport speak out you loser told the inner guy. But I could not and wasted the chance. I decided to greet her as soon as she sits. The girl who came with all smiles inside got a phone call by which she started crying and turned to the other side. I dint lose hope and said "Hi excuse me. ". She did not reply anything. I asked if she needs any help. Phuck shup was the reply from her. Quite embarassed with the reply I returned back to seat when the guy next to me was into full laughter seeing me lose it.

What a meeting first up. I understood the meaning of the word as I already got this in my dream and got totally upset about it. But my sidie was into so much joy since I got the tasty bun from her. But who knows what happens the next second. The first meeting was an unexpected twist so was the one which followed too. Ten minutes later she pointed something to the airhostess who came to me and said Sir the passenger next to you is a German and is mentally upset about something and requested me to inform not to be disturbed by any one for a while. She also told sorry for telling somethin to you earlier as she was in a very angry state . She looked at me while the air hostess was saying all this and said soari. I dint understand it though. The hostess continued sir if you need a change of seat I can arrange somewhere else as it would be uncomfortable here for you. I was into complete joy for the complete turn around within ten minutes but dint show it out. I just told the hostess its alright no problem I am fine with the seat. I could not show out the happiness it got in me. I was recalling some German which I learnt at school to ask her . I heard a voice running through me to her "hoi yo naed soem leph??" . It was none other than Charlie who hit a six off the first ball. He knows German too. What m I going to do now amidst this? She started talking to him and smiled at me. "iirata corrata sparta zzoo kai ji colito .....". I could not understand a word out of it but just returned the smile back. I was their medium of conversation. I was at the non striker's end still seeking for a ball while Charlie was nearing his fifty. I just gave a stare at Charlie who gave back a winner's look to the loser. I got a big task ahead now if I have to win the game from here. Their conversation went on for fifteen minutes and then they stopped as the flight started for its take off. I realised I need to take it off from here somehow and get a hold from where it was. The crew announced to upright the seat for the take off. I decided to take it up from Charlie in the air who ruled the land. It would be a tough job but quite possible I told myself as the flight took off safely. Let me get some air before I start the counter attack...

Monday, January 11, 2010

The Perfect Opposites

Chapter 1- Chamber of Cigarettes
14th Aug 2009 23:00 .."Hello Sir welcome on board". "Hi. Thanks for welcoming me. You look good btw"."Sire phuck shup". I din't get that anyways n thought of continuing the conversation with her later n marched in. I searched for my window seat 26A hoping for a beautiful company n found a 70 year old happily occupying my seat . Excuse me this is supposed to by my seat. Can you please shift? The old intruder who misplaced his on my seat raised up tellin "phuck shup".. I barely got wat he said n I din't wana end it up without an argument.. "Mr. this is my seat... can u shift??" this time I din't get a reply too .. tired of askin d same thin tenth time in a row I settled wid d aisle seat n waited for the air hostess to pass by .."Dear passengers please tighten your seat belts. We will take off shortly". I called up the hostess who announced it to chip in wih a small conversation. "Yes sir".This flight goes to Germany right?She started laughing and told Yes sir ofcourse. Then please cancel this flight .I suppose this plane will crash. I had a dream in which I saw everything happening now . "phuck shup" was the reply.Look. I get this shit reply from everyone. I am a tamil guy n I just know English. So just spit d bloody english out of you now.Sir we are supposed to treat our passengers cordially so... Can u please shut the fuck up n tighten your seat belt.Terrified by the reply I just had to shut the Final destination partV down n realised what the other two told me earlier.

Annoyed with the formalities of the precautionary demos I rushed into the rest room for a smoke. Thank God I got it in here. It was pretty tough getting it in from the bull's eye of the securities . I saw a worried look peeping out from me n the smoke out of my tummy or mouth who knows. Shit man what a life! My 22 year old sad story yet again continues even when I say I am leaving out of you. With a 70 year old man snoring next to me Mr.God is this the alternative you chose for me for the native girls who leave out the native guys and go in for the chapathi eaters? To celebrate my moment of sadness a little longer I pulled out the second fag. Someone knocked the door. Excuse me sir please return to your seat. We are about to take off. This was my turn to give them the reply "phuck shup". The knocks got a li'l wilder . Half heartedly putting out the half smoked fag n tears trickling down for doing that I opened the door and saw two bouncers doing the wild job of knocking the door. I was shocked. What the hell m I into?A flight or a pub?Shit man they carried me and put me back on my seat. That was harsh. I have never dreamt of travelling in a shitty flight like this nor anyone told me about this. I raised my head and saw something titled penalties and the number one striked agianst my seat and below that ifyou foul with more than three penalties you are thrown out according to our corporate policy.

Wonderful corporate policies. Mom..Dad you were so happy that your son is going onsite to the Hitler world. Can you guys see what I experience before I start off even. At this moment I would like to really thank my colleagues who backed out so clevery sending me off first. What a experimental rat I have become I thot. The wheels started rolling and thinking of the wonderful days I am about to spend I started checking out the channels broadcasted one of which screened Inglorious Basterds. I was wondering if this heaven would offer something to drink and called on the hostess. Can I get something to drink? Yes sir what would you like to have. Can you get me a large whisky mixed with paneer soda?She seemed to be lost. Sir pardon. Ok if you dont offer such high range drinks can you get me a scotch on the rocks. She smiled back and said sure sir. First time a girl smiled at me for speaking something totally wierd. What a wierd world? When I say I like you she stabs and when I speak something totally stupid she smiles. I smiled at myself and said this is where the northies over took us. Experienced the first happy moment since I got in and I told myself here I come silly fellows knowing the real trick to handle your girls. I got the guts to go in for my next fag with all smiles now and here I celebrate the real Independence day learning the trick 15th Aug 2009 00:00.