Chapter 2 When Harry Met Sally

15 th Aug 3AM . Alarm rings so loud like a factory siren. I woke up choking a bit and then realised the pubby flight was all a wierd dream. The bulky baggages were lying next to me getting ready for their travel. The guess is right , I am being sent onsite for a year to Germany . The tequilla shots which went in the previous night did the trick. I dont know who carried me home and when I packed my stuff. Well thats now a dream too if some one had done it for me. Mom woke up a hour earlier because of which I could have the delicious Idly Sambar prepared by her . Mom stared at me telling why dont you have the idly with beer your honour ? I felt wierd looking back at her. Since I was leaving Mom dint make it big but gave that ugly stare at me. Dad coolly said budweiser is your favourite right?Lucky fellow you are going to the world of budwieser itself now. I never got such an opportunity earlier and will never get too. So enjoy yourself and just drink the Buds and dont take bath with it. Its Dads turn now to get the stare from Mom . I laughed inside thinking poor guy he himself took the ball from me and put a wrong goal to Mom. I picked up the baggages to board into the call taxi until which Mom dint talk. But now tears started trickling down. I stopped her telling Mom please continue this scene at the airport. She laughed back and I happily escaped before things went wilder . This being the first time I am going out of home all alone I was a lil frightened but acted like a cool dude before Mom and Dad . I expected a call from my girl friend before leaving but unfortunately I dont have one though I am too smart as called by my fellow gang. The scene where Mom getting emotional and dad consoling her got over and I proceeded for the security check . The security guy frightened me . I have never seen such a huge moustache. He was checking me so thoroughly as if he would strip me in front of everyone. I thought to myself when you guys do this to the Americans why won't they do it back ? He reminded me of the bouncers in the dream and I proceeded to board with a slight shiver. To my surprise the dream was a complete wash out because I was royally received by the air hostess . Shit man I missed the phuck shup said the cool dude in me and a upset soul inside me hitting against the wall for the show off.

I have come a long way but never told any one who am I. Since revealing my identity is not the part of this story I will reveal it myself. Well I am one of those million software engineers seamless of nice beautiful dreams and living in artificial destinations like the one I had last night. As I already told I dont have girl friend yet but I have a childhood gang who are always here to occupy my evenings and take me for treats telling they would give me ideas for picking up a girl . Never has anything valuable come out during those treats other than pukes. The best thing they have done so far would be getting me caught drunk at home where I had a good guy image so long. Thats their greatness and one more interesting thing about me is I am always complained of being absent minded starting from forgetting to carry hall ticket for my board exam to unknowingly enter opposites' rest room . Well thats all the back voice of me got before I found my seat. There you go I forgot my hand baggage near the security check in and happily boarded. So went back to get it. After all the struggle settled myself and relaxed a bit. Before I could relax myself completely I saw someone entering . I could just guess it was a female dressed in pink and the airhostess pointed to the same row I sit . I prayed God to get me more wierd dreams as the reality showed the other side of it. I have'nt even seen how she looks but started bumping with joy already. Having got the grammy award for the best bathroom singer I started singing in the usual murmering tone "Every night in my dreams....". The guy inside me gave back a stare telling even if she sits there you will behave Mother Teresa's child to her. So silly fellow stop your idiotic singing and do something fruitful atleast now and dont be a loser. I have run a full length imagination within the fraction of seconds during which the hostess just pointed her finger to the seat next to me. I dont even know if she has come alone or if she has a companion to occupy the damn middle seat between us. I squeezed my thoughts to get a dream where she comes in with her boy friend. Something banged my head hard telling stupid fellow dont follow negative strategy here . Omg she is returning back to the door without even giving me a glimpse of how she looks. I pacified myself telling love stories start with such hide and seek and ends up with either the entertainment of business or business of entertainment. I have seen stories where love starts from the first sight . I moved a step forward now without even seeing my lady love. Its too long a wait for the soul inside me so never mind however she looks.

She probably forgot her hand baggage so rushed out in the same speed she entered. What a coincidence. She has probably got the same I do. Well I only meant absent mindedness . What next. I went into the dream land to see the future me and her with her face blank since I have not seen her yet. We are married and blessed with twin kids but forget to take the kids home from hospital. The kids grow up absent minded too and search for us without knowing who they are searching for. Meanwhile since birth we are in search of the kids too without knowing how they look. The absent minded search goes on and my dream ends. What an idiotic dream to start my life with her but I strongly felt this would also be like the earlier dream and waited for her re entry. I got some time to freshen myself up before she comes back . Thank god my make up kit was at the top of my hand baggage. I pulled out the deo and facial freshners and got ready to be recognised. The silly soul inside me was laughing at me whispering you dont even have a clue how she will be. Losers will never change . I said to myself shut your pessemistic attitude up and get ready for the game to start.

Meanwhile someone entered from the back and sat next to me. Before having a glance at the new entrant my absent minded brain struck its cord at the right time helping me realize my lady love has come alone . Well but there is a intruder parting us. Turning to my right I had a look at my sidie. He was a six foot tall handsome looking guy with a spiked hair style and nearly my age. By the way I am 25 years old and I look very ordinary in front of him even with all the make up . Shit man I have got a very strong competitor to defend even before I could score a single . Mind raced planning how to tackle the defender to reach the goal post. Scribbling lots of crappy thoughts I could not get a solution for this burning issue. Even water problems for a state could be solved when compared to these . I gave him a stare while he settled down and pulling out his ipod the very next second. I had no pods or pads to pull out , God I should do something now and get the attention diverted to me against him. I need to do somethin and make him come to my seat first. Mind raced with thoughts and quickly a cool idea struck me.

I greeted him and behaved a nice gentle man before pulling out my plan to get him out of the game. I am Raj and you? Hello I am Charlie. Nice to meet you Charlie. And then pinned up the usual questions of where is he from and all the crap for which I least intended to know the answers. Now is the move to bowl him. Dude I have a small request. Ya tell me man. Do you mind shifting to my window seat? I am alergic to glass panes and height.When I said this I gave a panicked look on my face .The very expression could even grab an oscar and why not this silly fellow. As expected I won the game when he replied no problem and shifted to mine. My nice lil plan worked out very well. I called up the air hostess and ordered a drink. Wantedly to tease the fool who believed my alergy drama I held the glass high and saw his reaction for it . The war has begun . He understood I moved with some intentions but dint ask me for his seat as he was happy with a window seat. I was looking out for anythin in pink to enter . A small kid teased me showing a candy. I gave an angry stare back at him . He started crying seeing me. I bent down avoiding scoldings from his parents. Heart beats 100 times per minute. Shit its a paronormal activity inside me. Where did this stupid girl go??? There entered the pink dressed woman who was going to increase my beats more with all smiles. I was dumb struck seeing her. Wat a woman she was. I was looking at her as if I was the judge for her fashion ramp walk. I couldnt even waste time blinking my eyes as it would cost me a life time. Mouth watered hands got wet what not there was a total chemical reaction in my body converting me from a live goat to mutton but I dint miss checking out my chicken though. I thanked God for putting up the best show possible giving me such a great opportunity. I was supposed to use this 12 hours journey as best as I could and relieve the saint in me who hit a silver jubilee without a girl . Mind raced what do I talk to her first and how to proceed from there. I confirmed if the winodw seat loser was looking at her. He showed off as if he was busy selecting his play list to me but he was having a watch on why I shifted to his place. She is just two steps away from me now. There was a vast earth quake at this moment but it was not a natural disaster for the world it was for me. My body was trembling to that extent as it was the first time for me with a girl. People tend to get this for other first times but I got this to have the first word with her. I planned to ask her if she needs help keeping her bag and start the talk. She came I was about to talk but nothing came out but just a whiff of air. Shit dont be a spoil sport speak out you loser told the inner guy. But I could not and wasted the chance. I decided to greet her as soon as she sits. The girl who came with all smiles inside got a phone call by which she started crying and turned to the other side. I dint lose hope and said "Hi excuse me. ". She did not reply anything. I asked if she needs any help. Phuck shup was the reply from her. Quite embarassed with the reply I returned back to seat when the guy next to me was into full laughter seeing me lose it.

What a meeting first up. I understood the meaning of the word as I already got this in my dream and got totally upset about it. But my sidie was into so much joy since I got the tasty bun from her. But who knows what happens the next second. The first meeting was an unexpected twist so was the one which followed too. Ten minutes later she pointed something to the airhostess who came to me and said Sir the passenger next to you is a German and is mentally upset about something and requested me to inform not to be disturbed by any one for a while. She also told sorry for telling somethin to you earlier as she was in a very angry state . She looked at me while the air hostess was saying all this and said soari. I dint understand it though. The hostess continued sir if you need a change of seat I can arrange somewhere else as it would be uncomfortable here for you. I was into complete joy for the complete turn around within ten minutes but dint show it out. I just told the hostess its alright no problem I am fine with the seat. I could not show out the happiness it got in me. I was recalling some German which I learnt at school to ask her . I heard a voice running through me to her "hoi yo naed soem leph??" . It was none other than Charlie who hit a six off the first ball. He knows German too. What m I going to do now amidst this? She started talking to him and smiled at me. "iirata corrata sparta zzoo kai ji colito .....". I could not understand a word out of it but just returned the smile back. I was their medium of conversation. I was at the non striker's end still seeking for a ball while Charlie was nearing his fifty. I just gave a stare at Charlie who gave back a winner's look to the loser. I got a big task ahead now if I have to win the game from here. Their conversation went on for fifteen minutes and then they stopped as the flight started for its take off. I realised I need to take it off from here somehow and get a hold from where it was. The crew announced to upright the seat for the take off. I decided to take it up from Charlie in the air who ruled the land. It would be a tough job but quite possible I told myself as the flight took off safely. Let me get some air before I start the counter attack...

The Perfect Opposites

Chapter 1- Chamber of Cigarettes
14th Aug 2009 23:00 .."Hello Sir welcome on board". "Hi. Thanks for welcoming me. You look good btw"."Sire phuck shup". I din't get that anyways n thought of continuing the conversation with her later n marched in. I searched for my window seat 26A hoping for a beautiful company n found a 70 year old happily occupying my seat . Excuse me this is supposed to by my seat. Can you please shift? The old intruder who misplaced his on my seat raised up tellin "phuck shup".. I barely got wat he said n I din't wana end it up without an argument.. "Mr. this is my seat... can u shift??" this time I din't get a reply too .. tired of askin d same thin tenth time in a row I settled wid d aisle seat n waited for the air hostess to pass by .."Dear passengers please tighten your seat belts. We will take off shortly". I called up the hostess who announced it to chip in wih a small conversation. "Yes sir".This flight goes to Germany right?She started laughing and told Yes sir ofcourse. Then please cancel this flight .I suppose this plane will crash. I had a dream in which I saw everything happening now . "phuck shup" was the reply.Look. I get this shit reply from everyone. I am a tamil guy n I just know English. So just spit d bloody english out of you now.Sir we are supposed to treat our passengers cordially so... Can u please shut the fuck up n tighten your seat belt.Terrified by the reply I just had to shut the Final destination partV down n realised what the other two told me earlier.

Annoyed with the formalities of the precautionary demos I rushed into the rest room for a smoke. Thank God I got it in here. It was pretty tough getting it in from the bull's eye of the securities . I saw a worried look peeping out from me n the smoke out of my tummy or mouth who knows. Shit man what a life! My 22 year old sad story yet again continues even when I say I am leaving out of you. With a 70 year old man snoring next to me Mr.God is this the alternative you chose for me for the native girls who leave out the native guys and go in for the chapathi eaters? To celebrate my moment of sadness a little longer I pulled out the second fag. Someone knocked the door. Excuse me sir please return to your seat. We are about to take off. This was my turn to give them the reply "phuck shup". The knocks got a li'l wilder . Half heartedly putting out the half smoked fag n tears trickling down for doing that I opened the door and saw two bouncers doing the wild job of knocking the door. I was shocked. What the hell m I into?A flight or a pub?Shit man they carried me and put me back on my seat. That was harsh. I have never dreamt of travelling in a shitty flight like this nor anyone told me about this. I raised my head and saw something titled penalties and the number one striked agianst my seat and below that ifyou foul with more than three penalties you are thrown out according to our corporate policy.

Wonderful corporate policies. Mom..Dad you were so happy that your son is going onsite to the Hitler world. Can you guys see what I experience before I start off even. At this moment I would like to really thank my colleagues who backed out so clevery sending me off first. What a experimental rat I have become I thot. The wheels started rolling and thinking of the wonderful days I am about to spend I started checking out the channels broadcasted one of which screened Inglorious Basterds. I was wondering if this heaven would offer something to drink and called on the hostess. Can I get something to drink? Yes sir what would you like to have. Can you get me a large whisky mixed with paneer soda?She seemed to be lost. Sir pardon. Ok if you dont offer such high range drinks can you get me a scotch on the rocks. She smiled back and said sure sir. First time a girl smiled at me for speaking something totally wierd. What a wierd world? When I say I like you she stabs and when I speak something totally stupid she smiles. I smiled at myself and said this is where the northies over took us. Experienced the first happy moment since I got in and I told myself here I come silly fellows knowing the real trick to handle your girls. I got the guts to go in for my next fag with all smiles now and here I celebrate the real Independence day learning the trick 15th Aug 2009 00:00.

3 idiots effect ...

Did i pursue wat i really wished 2 become shud b one's thot watchin the movie ... my frank answer would b a big NO .. but I nvr knew wat I really wanted to become ... I used to hav a gr8 passion for cricket wich is not even near my line of sight now ... I used to analyse music to the extent of a learned but never learnt anythin in it .. I enjoyed electronics but nvr had a chance to b wid it ... Endin up as a typical sotfie chewin d cone I und lyf has been more of compromise than pursuing it ... Is it so easy to chuck out wat I compromised n run towards one of those? I wud hav bin d same be it a bold or a weak soul ... Destiny has time travelled my life ... n here I m in an unknown destination ... Had d technology of guessin wat 1 pursues invented now I feel 0.1% wud hav really achieved it .. But then y m i not in dat list ... Its nt the effect created by d movie rather its smethin which d movie reminded my soul ... the race between heart n mind to pursue atleast one of those I wished to do. Do I really wana do a higher degree or settle down in d same shit through out ? I really dont hav an answer for it ... The reason I cant assure myself if everything would b as shitty as this was ... This has been d race for quite sometime now ... the only end point I render for this would b to leav evrythin as destiny takes it to .. I never knew I would be in this position aftr strivin hard for somethin I pursued but I m indeed here now .. I really don't wana know or expect wat it takes to the following days.. Let the destiny decide it n take me there.. its a blind folded yet bold decision ... 3 idiots could'nt effect me takin any more bold decisions than leavin it to how it has to be ... dats wat I feel is the line between reel n real ...

wen u really learn to walk on ur own ...

Agitated by a chargeless lappy n irritated with a damn skin burn , I thot wen i really learnt somethin ... Hav bin hearin d whistle of pressure cookers since I stepped in .. Never experimented wid it until I stepped out .. Dat ended up teachin me hw to handle a pressure cooker startin off wid a lil burn tho.. I nvr dreamt cuttin vegetables n washin up dirty rice .. Wn I get to do them I really started appreciatin mom's work than I ever did .. Cookin smethin 4 a bachelor's den has quie an advantage .. U cn experiment puttin in watevr u like .. ppl who eat it r ur best frns n they wn mind evn if its horrible ... at d end of d day it gives quite a pleasure u really hav learnt to live a lyf on ur own .. Gone r those days wen u happily wrap around d covers n wake up 4 a bed cofee ... its tiresome gettin dwn 2 d milk shop n make cofee .. dats wen I appreciated dad than I ever did... d joy it gives wen I start doin wat Mom n Dad had been doin 2 me thro out is out of comparison .. this phase of lyf really preaches smethin out of box ...

On Board

I m still awake when the moon burped after its meal ... Seamless wat m I doin at this time here I m on board.. but donno wher .. .. Wat u pursue is wat u get was gud 2 hear but I nvr pursued writin a blog empty headed wen dogs rule d roads..16 wheelers pass by .. is it the number of tyres i sit n count now?Or m i amused seein such biggies wich wer never sighted by the 8 to 10 routine souls ...miles to go b4 i sleep...