Monday, January 11, 2010

The Perfect Opposites

Chapter 1- Chamber of Cigarettes
14th Aug 2009 23:00 .."Hello Sir welcome on board". "Hi. Thanks for welcoming me. You look good btw"."Sire phuck shup". I din't get that anyways n thought of continuing the conversation with her later n marched in. I searched for my window seat 26A hoping for a beautiful company n found a 70 year old happily occupying my seat . Excuse me this is supposed to by my seat. Can you please shift? The old intruder who misplaced his on my seat raised up tellin "phuck shup".. I barely got wat he said n I din't wana end it up without an argument.. "Mr. this is my seat... can u shift??" this time I din't get a reply too .. tired of askin d same thin tenth time in a row I settled wid d aisle seat n waited for the air hostess to pass by .."Dear passengers please tighten your seat belts. We will take off shortly". I called up the hostess who announced it to chip in wih a small conversation. "Yes sir".This flight goes to Germany right?She started laughing and told Yes sir ofcourse. Then please cancel this flight .I suppose this plane will crash. I had a dream in which I saw everything happening now . "phuck shup" was the reply.Look. I get this shit reply from everyone. I am a tamil guy n I just know English. So just spit d bloody english out of you now.Sir we are supposed to treat our passengers cordially so... Can u please shut the fuck up n tighten your seat belt.Terrified by the reply I just had to shut the Final destination partV down n realised what the other two told me earlier.

Annoyed with the formalities of the precautionary demos I rushed into the rest room for a smoke. Thank God I got it in here. It was pretty tough getting it in from the bull's eye of the securities . I saw a worried look peeping out from me n the smoke out of my tummy or mouth who knows. Shit man what a life! My 22 year old sad story yet again continues even when I say I am leaving out of you. With a 70 year old man snoring next to me Mr.God is this the alternative you chose for me for the native girls who leave out the native guys and go in for the chapathi eaters? To celebrate my moment of sadness a little longer I pulled out the second fag. Someone knocked the door. Excuse me sir please return to your seat. We are about to take off. This was my turn to give them the reply "phuck shup". The knocks got a li'l wilder . Half heartedly putting out the half smoked fag n tears trickling down for doing that I opened the door and saw two bouncers doing the wild job of knocking the door. I was shocked. What the hell m I into?A flight or a pub?Shit man they carried me and put me back on my seat. That was harsh. I have never dreamt of travelling in a shitty flight like this nor anyone told me about this. I raised my head and saw something titled penalties and the number one striked agianst my seat and below that ifyou foul with more than three penalties you are thrown out according to our corporate policy.

Wonderful corporate policies. Mom..Dad you were so happy that your son is going onsite to the Hitler world. Can you guys see what I experience before I start off even. At this moment I would like to really thank my colleagues who backed out so clevery sending me off first. What a experimental rat I have become I thot. The wheels started rolling and thinking of the wonderful days I am about to spend I started checking out the channels broadcasted one of which screened Inglorious Basterds. I was wondering if this heaven would offer something to drink and called on the hostess. Can I get something to drink? Yes sir what would you like to have. Can you get me a large whisky mixed with paneer soda?She seemed to be lost. Sir pardon. Ok if you dont offer such high range drinks can you get me a scotch on the rocks. She smiled back and said sure sir. First time a girl smiled at me for speaking something totally wierd. What a wierd world? When I say I like you she stabs and when I speak something totally stupid she smiles. I smiled at myself and said this is where the northies over took us. Experienced the first happy moment since I got in and I told myself here I come silly fellows knowing the real trick to handle your girls. I got the guts to go in for my next fag with all smiles now and here I celebrate the real Independence day learning the trick 15th Aug 2009 00:00.


  1. R u sure its fiction?? Seems mre of ur experience ;) ..

  2. looks like a series of random thoughts shaped up into a story...i like's different..totally unconventional

  3. @Mr.Vicky - How cud 1 experience such a flight ? Isnt dat part fictional enuf to prove?

    Thanx ipshi will try to revolve around the point I wana convey in the following chapters.

  4. Bouncers in a flight thts totally fictional.. It can be true only if they are Indian airlines air hostesses :P

  5. Its good..but y the title Perfect opposites? Dint get any of such sense in the post.