Never I thot I would define a statement of this sort. I dint have a clue or near to it practically on what a Government office really is but got an opportunity somehow.The reason I had to go was to get an affidavit. To be frank enough I dint know its synonym until I had to get one. But now I could add it to my dictionary with all possible translations.
Like most indivduals I had the thoughts of getting it using the generic modus operandi bribe. I tried all possible means not to approach the Government directly. Fate came in the form of my close friend. He woke me up and urged to go there and get things done myself. I left his wake up call to snooze and got back to my dream date with some unknown mexican actress. I dont know where she came from but I could see Mexico written in the background. She was beautiful though. The wake up calls went louder because of which I had to turn down the dream and get ready to do the job myself. I would like to hail that guy who laid the day for me.
I reached there by 10 AM. It was scorching hot already. I saw some guys wearing black suits standing outside and selling something. The costume was like that of a train TTEs but I could not correlate their job out here leaving the trains. Without thinking more on that I proceeded straight to the place where a guy pointed is the one for getting affidavits. He said the office timings start from 10AM. The entrance had a grill door locked and people waiting to plunge in as soon as it opens. It reminded me of my age old days entering a cinema hall before the multiplex life style came in.
At about 10:30 a guy came and opened the grill. A kid about 4feet height pushed me down and ran inside. I dint have a clue why these guys were running inside. When I was lost in that thought I was the only one left outside. When I entered inside people went and stood in queues. There were ten counters. Something was written in Marathi in all the counters. I was clueless where to go and asked a guy there. Fate played its first stroke his reply was in Marathi too.
I dint have a clue how it would feel to be in a place where you dont have a clue of the language . I searched if I could find someone who was lost like I was. At the fifth tick of my eye clock I located a fellow companion who was lost too. Luckily I found a board stating "English Affidavit" as I approached near him. The crowd which pushded me down stood in the Marathi queue. I thought in one way not knowing the language has helped me.
As I approached near the counter I noticed everyone holding some paper with a 100 on it. I had something similar to it but dint really know what it was for. Somehoe came to know from the crowd its called a stamp paper. Mind rewinded half an hour back. The black suit fellows were lawyers who did not have clients to attend to and were selling these stamp papers outside. A 100 Rs stamp paper would be sold for a 110. A lawyer had come with his mom as he could not handle the crows single handedly. A 5 Rs stamp was sold for 10. Mind went on calculating. There would be atleast 100 of them like me everyday. Leaving out the bribe he had to pay this guy would earn something equal to the one who sweats out the whole year coding including the weekends.
Finally got the paper and went back to report the details for the affidavit. Thankfully it was not a Marathi questionairre this time. The person sitting at the counter knew Hindi. So somehow managed with my "ek gaon mein ek kisan rahta tha" Hindi and told the details. You could see optimal usage of paper there. All the guys sitting at the counter would have a newspaper. Once they type out your details they tear a peiece from the newspaper and write down some number on it like a token number when you visit a doctor. The purpose of the day was so far so good though with some language barrier. The shock came to me when I went to receive the print out.
A guy handed over the print out to me and asked me to verify the details in it before putting it out on a stamp paper. It was looking like Hindi but I could not understand a word. The whole thing was printed in Marati and I had to verify the details. The board English affidavits was for poor guys like me to know what the queue was for. I thought to myself what to check from it. Just verified my name and address from it as the script was same like Hindi. Apart from that I dint have a clue of what each line meant. So the need of a translator came to me for the first time unfortunately at a place where I could not find one. I was searching for my only companion. He probably would have ran away to get back with some friend who knows Marathi.
So with some hope the details would be right I went to get the signature from the higher authority thinking atleast that guy should be knowing some English. I even thought I could get it clarified from him. A girl was standing in front of me. The guy dint even ask for any proof. His mouth was watering and he was acting like a cool dude and asked her where she was from. The girl did not have any proofs and was standing tensed with her boy friend. But the romantic officer did not even ask for one and signed out her paper. He kept on talking somethin irrelevant to her. In between took out his comb and styled his half bald head. The drama took five more minutes to reach its end.
Then came my turn. He was still looking at her and was not ready to do his job. I distrubed his romantic session. He would be in his fifties and sighting a 20 year old. I could not control my laughter. He gave a stern look at me the moment I disturbed him.
He pointed out something to me on the paper. It was a place to sign. I thought he should be doing it and told him back "aap sign karna hai". He showed off some face and was screaming something in Marathi. I just went off to sign. He was giving reactions as if he rules the World. I had to get my work done so went back to him patiently. He asked for some proof. I showed them. He turned to his side and spoke something I could not understand to his colleague. He took the papers from me and asked me to come to the next queue. By the time I went he kept the original proof with himself and gave back the signed affidavit alone.
"Wo original documents hai. Main xerox leke ayenge" I said. I have never heard a reply like what I heard then. He showed his stern faceagain and said "what did you do when I asked if I can keep the originals. Once these papers come to us it won't be returned back. If you don't understand the language get out of the state. Don't irritate us early in the morning". All this was said in Hindi which somehow I could understand. I just was taken aback for a moment and pounced at him "I already told you I got a language problem. Dont you even know English to sit in such position. The queue was stated for English affidavits and print it in Marathi. What am I to verify from it.If you want me to learn your language come out right now and teach me. I am not as free as you though with life." The argument went on for a while. I thought for a moment probably its the same everywhere just that I had it at this place. It was not a single handed change to make. I was affecting other's time by the argument as there was none for a support then. So just thought " Hail Government offices and the guy who woke me up for the brow raising experience " and walked out.